Be. Do. Go.

I just came back from Costa Rica from the trip of a life time as a participant of the fourth Third Wave conference of the Church of the Nazarene.  While many people have asked me how it was and I’ve somewhat given into, “It was SO awesome,” for an answer, one friend today asked me, “How was it for you spiritually?”  That made me think.

There are only a couple of times in my life where I can say that I very obviously know that it was God’s hand providing for that instant in that situation.  The majority of my life has been spent in a fair peace, knowing that God has been leading and providing all the way.  For this, I am grateful.  I think that without this kind of understanding, my appreciation for when God blatantly smacks me in the face with something would be far, far less and I might even take it for granted.

I think that in my heart and mind, the reason that this conference came at exactly the right time was because I needed it.  I needed to get out of the country.  I needed to be in a new place where I had very little control as to what was happening at any given time.  I needed to surround myself with strangers who all seemed so similar to me.  I needed to hear God speak to me through many different conversations and through many different experiences.  I needed to disconnect and be very selective with how I spent my time.  I needed to feel uncomfortable and to also feel at home with people I’d never met.  I needed the challenge, the rebuke, the encouragement, the confirmation.

I don’t like to think that I’m a needy person.  In fact, I spend a lot of my time making absolutely sure that I’m the opposite of needy, 99% of the time.  But this trip bopped me on the head.  I am SO needy.

And that’s okay.

I think that being at school sometimes instills very selective kinds of independence in us.  I’m dependent upon my parents but I make the rules at school.  I’m dependent upon my friends but I love being alone (to an extent).  I don’t need to be surrounded but I constantly am.  I think we could call this a kind of settling.  I haven’t checked myself on how I’ve settled in a long time…but Costa Rica sure helped.
This trip, spiritually, came for me exactly when I needed it.  I know that this is yet another thing that God has provided so obviously, but I needed to hear from Him somewhere where I was forced to listen because it was so foreign.  I want to be foreign all the time so that I’m constantly listening for Him, looking for what He is pointing out, and being ultra sensitive to His guiding.  I could blame many factors for my lack of understanding and sensitivity here at home, but the truth of the matter is that it comes down to me.  I’m the problem and He is the only solution.
Third Wave was my spiritual refresher.  My spiritual game-changer.  I want to be in the Spirit, do what He tells me, and go where He leads me.  May this past January be a constant reminder.
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