Renewal.

For a long time it felt as if I was coasting.

Like, this whole semester.

Coasting on getting by, on doing what I want when I want, on being consistently inconsistent.

But that’s different now.

It’s crazy how humbling it is to talk about what’s eating you up with other people.

It’s even crazier how much easier it is to be in that vulnerable place with strangers.

I was in that place with about nine strangers last week.

Many of these girls were ones I had been in class with or knew of, but never had the chance or took the chance to know them well.

But we were out on this wilderness retreat, and it came time to share.

We all met each other in places of deepness, in honesty, in sincerity.

It was hard:

are they judging me?

will this affect how they look at me and interact with me?

does feeling or thinking this way make me a liar?

they are my sisters.

It was easy:

they don’t know my whole story.

we trust each other.

there is a mutual admiration and respect.

they are my sisters.

But opening up encouraged us to challenge and encourage each other.

I not only have nine new friends – I have nine new people I trust and respect.

Each of us met where our sister was at.

Each of us listened.

Each of us encouraged.

Each of us comforted.

By allowing our hearts to be soft and our honesty to be broad and our spirits to invite the Holy One’s presence into our midst…

Each of us were renewed.

Now, I don’t feel like I am coasting.

Now, I feel like I can do it.

For God,

for myself,

for my parents,

for those who are spending their time investing into me and my education.

for those who can’t be here,

for those who have already been.

It’s not my work but His to be done.

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