Here’s the thing: I had to reset my password three times in order to open this blog back up.
I’ve struggled with the idea of blogging. Mostly because I’m acquainted with too many people who are constantly updating and then sharing. I don’t even plan on intentionally sharing this but I’m sure it’ll come up somehow, somewhere, someday. I just want to be held accountable. I also feel as if it’s ridiculous that I’m not doing a better job chronicling everything that’s going on in life right now, beyond what I remember to pen down in a journal. Instagram photos will carry memories, sure, but there’s something therapeutic about writing the thoughts (and humbling when I read them later). Plus, my journals tend to become letters and prayers and messy thoughts. (With that sentence, I might have just convinced myself to go back to it. Dang.)
This blog. Blog blog blog. I just looked; my last entry was written in April of 2015. Almost two years ago. Life is 10000000000% different now than it was in April of 2015! The year following would spur growth and change in my life: an internship in Nashville (should have blogged during and about that), shifting around my ideas of ministry, getting engaged (DEFINITELY should have written more during that season), beginning the final chapters of my college career, planning a wedding, choosing the next steps of life that would follow graduation, experiencing some of the hardest losses of friendship, graduating and leaving my home of four years, moving to a new city, finding my footing in ministry, getting married, finding jobs, and opening a business.
Like, I honestly regret not having written more long and tangible thoughts about all of those transitions.
I think that’s why I’m here now: to make up for it, to hash out those thoughts and feelings of myself. To provide markers of remembering throughout these crazy days. To just write it OUT because honestly sometimes that’s the best way to deal. I think there is great wisdom in what we write before us (like 99% of the time anyway). I’m obsessed with the podcast Grownups Read Things They Wrote as Kids. It’s all about reading what we wrote when we were younger because it’s weird and goofy but also can help us figure out who we are today (or even who we want to be). And I think that’s why I’m going to commit to getting back into this. So I can remember and hold myself accountable to the things I hope to be.