On marriage, pt. I

It’s been a hot seven months since Zach and I vowed all the vows and danced the dances and celebrated THE best day with our best people. Seven months isn’t long, but I want to pen all of my feelings about the day (that I have right now) and what has happened since then.

Let me talk about where we are now:
– seven months married!!!
– living in a cute apartment in a house with four other friends
– Zach teaching high school math online and managing the financial side of things at Brick Coffee Company
– I’m splitting time as a worship leader and nanny and handling the administrative stuff at aforementioned coffee shop, and trying to get an etsy shop afloat.
– living pretty simply and hella budgeted so that we can tackle student loans and then be more able to do what we dream of!
– adjusting to life in a new city (and falling in love with it – I thought about this earlier and wow I am seriously the biggest fan of Cincinnati)
– trying to make friends but also stay close to the ones we have

It’s SO MUCH. That seven point list is THE most condensed version of anything I’ve ever been able to communicate with anyone about where life is for us right now. It’s been a journey. Months 3-5 of marriage were so lonely for me because I still feel like I’m figuring out how to make friends here. Which sucked because I didn’t ever want Zach to feel like he was lacking as a husband. It’s just the opposite: he’s the best person I could have ever hoped to have married. I just struggled feeling like I had anyone to be my friend outside of him. And God provides, and has provided, and growth is HAPPENING. It’s good.

I think we’re in one of the best places we’ve been in our new marriage. We’re happy. We just watched all of Gilmore Girls and are currently moving through the revival episodes. He makes me laugh more than anyone or anything. He keeps me warm and challenges my intellect daily. He’s learning that an empty sink is the best gift I could receive and he is totally fine with my spaghetti squash obsession. Being married to Zach makes me appreciate love and marriage in general more. Besides the whole bit that he loves me despite knowing eeeeeeverything about me, he makes me better. He’s teaching me what it’s like to be selfless and to die to my own desires. It’s crazy. I feel like I learn more about him and me and us every day with all the new things we experience and go through. I have totally different dreams and goals because of him. I have so much peace, being loved and being able to love him in the context of marriage.

Being married to Zach reminds me to pray for all of my friends in general. I think it’s because Zach is so much my friend, my very best friend, before he is anything else. I pray for companionship and joy to be brought into their lives: that they would have someone who makes them feel at home and safe and heard. I pray for people wiser to enter into their lives: Zach is wiser than me in so many areas but I think he would say that the same about me. We balance each other and we foster growth because of it. We lead each other but we walk together. And I pray for peace in their lives: marriage has not been the only thing to bring peace in to my life, but being able to rest in the fact that this commitment is beyond heart and head feelings, that our souls are literally connected…that’s really peaceful, somehow. While I don’t think everyone is called to be married, I think that joy, companionship, wisdom, and peace can be found in community. God created us for all of it…so I think it definitely can be found.


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