My first Easter in ministry: I’m exhausted.
The whole weekend is so beautiful. Good Friday and the solemn, heavy remembrance, the pain it causes, the quietness of death. We wait, we rest, and then we celebrate. I never want to forget this first Easter weekend as a real-deal worship leader. I never want to forget the stress of it all (demonstrated by my breakouts), the flubs (forgetting to light alllll the candles on the stage), or the joy (my worship team exchanging hugs and high fives after our last song).
I never want to forget the fact that my neighbor showed up for church – my neighbor who grew up, in his own words, “extremely Catholic,” and hasn’t been one for religion since. To see him in the back, watching as the hustle of pre-service took place, and then to slowly move among friends in our seats, to sense that this was a good place for him to be – may that memory stay with me for a long time.
I think that Easter, for a church, is like finals week. We cram and we prepare and we make sure everything is just right. We’ll be tested on everything: appearance, parking ease, message, technology, song selection, quality of music, so on and so forth. It’s overwhelming and terrifying and I legit was SO STRESSED this week about it all. Our church is really intentional about our identity. We weren’t going to put drapey cloth over the cross just because of tradition, or to sing a million hymns because that’s what the people want. We want to be for our community, willing to relate and to serve, and deeply longing to know. I think yesterday was an effective day for showing that we absolutely want to know you, because Jesus wants to know you, and as we get to know you, we will LOVE YOU.
This same time last year, I had no idea that I would be working in a worship leader position. It wasn’t on my radar at all. We visited the church we’re at now on Easter and it is so crazy to think about how different everything is now. I didn’t even think I was capable of this kind of growth but I’m so thankful to be here.
I added “how tired I would feel after Easter” to my growing phone list of “Things I Didn’t Learn About Ministry in School” this morning. I feel like when you say goodbye to all your family after a reunion that you spent weeks preparing and cleaning and cooking for. I am so glad to have served as a worship leader on my first Easter out of school. I can’t wait to see how different it all is one year from even now.